5 Famous American Icons… You Didn’t Know Were Unpatriotic Bastards

Helen Keller… Was a Radical Socialist

For generations, students around the world were told the brave story of Helen Kelller, a blind, deaf girl that learned to read, write and speak. Today, most Americans know Helen Keller as the inspiration to that annoying song.

I said shush girl...

While Keller’s struggle to communicate and learn is a well-known story, the rest of her life tends to get downplayed. It’s probably because Helen Keller was a Godless, Communist. To be fair, Keller was a child of Marx long before the Soviet Union ruined the good name of the proletariat and A LOT of people during her time held similar views. There was even a popular socialist candidate for president. 

Despite some mainstream acceptance, socialists were generally scorned and Keller was a radical.  A worldwide sensation after graduating from college as the first deaf, blind person to earn a bachelor’s degree, Keller was a highly acclaimed writer and speaker. Later, when her political views became widely known the reactions were not kind. Many commentators simply dismissed her views as “mistakes sprung from the manifest limitations of her development.”

Keller shrugged off criticisms and went on to found help found the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU). She also led the first commission to study the working conditions of blind employees for the Industrial Workers of the World (IWW).

Henry Ford… Was a Nazi Sympathizer

It’s probably libelous or slander to call Henry Ford a Nazi, so I won’t. But the man was pretty damn close. Historians have noted a mutual admiration between Ford and Adolf Hitler. The carmaker was the lone American mentioned by Hitler in his prison manifesto, Mein Kampf.

Still not as anti-Semitic as Walt Disney...

What did Ford do to garner the attention of the most evil man in history? He published a few articles in The Dearborn Independent, an anti-Jewish newspaper based in Michigan and owned by Ford’s personal secretary. Well, Ford didn’t technically write anything for the paper. Instead, he allowed the editors to print articles under his name. Oh yeah, and Hitler also modeled Volkswagon on Ford’s production techniques, which would later be adapted to make planes, boats and tanks.

On the advice of many friends and business contacts, Ford closed the paper in 1927 and even apologized to the Anti-Defamation League (ADL). However, in 1938, the robber baron met with German officials in Cleveland to receive the Grand Cross of the German Eagle, the highest honor the Nazis could give a non-citizen. Certain anti-Semitic materials written by Ford are still available on neo-Nazi sites to this day.

Brigham Young… Organized a Rebellion Against the Federal Government

I’m not here to dump on your religion. (Unless you’re a Scientologist cause, you know, that’s weird….) Also, I think Mormons are pretty cool. That episode of South Park with the Mormon kid was pretty much my experience with the random Mormon families I’ve known over the years. However, Brigham Young kind of scares me…

Young was the leader of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, more commonly known as Mormonism, following the death of the faith’s founder. Early Mormons were heavily persecuted for their faith and Young responded with fierce resolve, nationality or law be damned.

Clearly doesn't give a fuck...

After settling in Utah around 1850, Young proposed establishing the State of Deseret, an autonomous region for Mormons. The area was successfully, and peacefully, incorporated into the U.S. but the real trouble was just getting started. Young was appointed governor of the area by President Millard Fillmore, giving the 50-year old control of the area’s economic, social and religious affairs.

Later, when the federal government heard rumors regarding interference with officials performing duties, James Buchanan decided to install a non-Mormon governor. Young’s immediate reaction was to organize a resistance that successfully held off federal troops for a month during the Utah War. The conflict almost ended when Young decided to burn Salt Lake City and head to Mexico. Seriously. Cooler heads prevailed and Young stepped down… without facing any consequences for his mini rebellion.

Langston Hughes… Wasn’t Not a Communist

Famed poet and author Langston Hughes spent a good deal of his adult life denying that he was a Communist. But just because you say something, doesn’t make it true.

As a writer, Hughes was not not a liar...

In 1932, Hughes was among a group of African-Americans that traveled to the Soviet Union in order to make a movie about the suffering of minorities in the United States. Hughes was also involved with a variety of Communist student organizations. (But who hasn’t been, right?)

During McCarthy era hysteria, Hughes distanced himself from past actions and even work considered to have Communist sympathies. Issues involving artistic credibility and self-censorship were common themes for Hughes at the end of his life. More politically radical work was omitted by Hughes from the 1959 release of his Selected Poems.

Aaron Burr… Fought the Law and Kind of Won

Vice president. Founding father. Murderer. Revolutionary. Aaron Burr was a lot of things and historians can’t quite decide how to label him. He was a politician, lawyer, soldier, and political philosopher. Unfortunately, history rarely bestows fame upon deserving acts of bravery and intelligence. Instead, Burr is famous for being the highest ranking American politician ever accused of murder.

Kill ONE high ranking politician and they never let you live it down...

In 1804 (following the kind of argument only 18^th century dandies could understand), Burr killed Treasury Secretary Alexander Hamilton. Surprisingly, killing a cabinet member wasn’t the most treasonous offense Burr ever committed. After Hamilton’s death, Burr completed his term in office then moved to Louisiana, then under the control of Spain.

His plan was to relocate armed farmers with the intent of provoking war with the Spanish government. Burr even secured the help of Andrew Jackson. Eventually, Burr was found out and tried for treason but acquitted on federal charges. Known as a kind and generous person, Burr lived the rest of his life as a lawyer in New York.