3 Dream Jobs... That Might Actually Kill You

A lot of people hate their jobs. In fact, if you're under the age of 25, you statistically hate your job. Roughly 61 percent of Americans in this demographic say they hate their jobs, according to an MSNBC poll. Another poll from CareerBuilder.com says 4 in 5 Americans don't have what they would consider their "dream" job.

Statistically, most Americans are also under qualified to operate this machine...

The remaining 20 percent of Americans that managed to find employment in positions they find engaging and fulfilling might seem lucky. But it turns out they're doomed bastards. While manning the fryer at Mickey D's might have any number of negative aspects (ie grease splash back), most jobs don't cause the deaths of employees (probably). It turns out, any number of the jobs you dream about during boring conference calls might just lead to your death. For example...

Ice Cream Taster


The dream job for nearly any 8 year old, ice cream tasters are responsible for quality control. Tasters spend entire days shoveling ice cream down their gullets while monitoring taste, texture and consistency between batches of products. Securing a job as an ice cream taster is much harder than many people think, though not because of competition for positions. Most applicants simply don't meet the education requirements. A lot of professionals in this field hold undergraduate or graduate degrees in food science or organic chemistry.

Individuals can get jobs as ice cream tasters through a variety of means. Burt Baskins and Irvine Robbins were in-laws that owned separate ice cream parlors in California. The men eventually decided to join together and created the Baskin-Robbins franchise. The company was pretty innovative for its time. It created the ice cream cake and was one of the first franchised food service businesses. Today, the company has over 5,800 stores worldwide. Unfortunately, the growth of the company killed one founder and led to health issues for the other.

Baskin-Robbins offers employees suspiciously impressive health benefits...

When the company was first getting started, Burt Baskin and Irvine Robbins were sticklers for quality control and flavor. This meant eating ice cream... A LOT of it. So much so that John Robbins claimed a daily overconsumption of ice cream gave his father adult onset diabetes and killed his uncle. Health issues resulting from too much sugar is a widely reported concern nowadays but past ignorance probably caused problems for others in situations similar to Baskin and Robbins.

John Robbins eventually became an author and critic of the modern convenience diet, so his commentary might be taken with a grain of salt. (He also shared this story in the controversial and sensational film, Super Size Me.) However, Baskin was only 56 years old when he died and weighed over 240 pounds. Prior to starting his first ice cream parlor, Baskin was never overweight and even served in the Navy.

Porn Actor


At some point, nearly every male has thought about a career in porn. Not only are the women attractive but the sex is generally crazier than anything performed among real couples. (And I'm pretty sure a real world threesome would be MUCH more awkward then porn leads viewers to believe...) The golden age of porn started in the 1970s and there's one reason we think every actor of the era looked like this...

I don't know what's creepier, the stache' or the hair... It's definitely not his willingness to sleep with 5 women at once.

His name is John Holmes and unless you're new to the Internet, I don't really have to explain who he is. (I will anyways...) Holmes gets remembered for his prolific porn career and his even more prolific dong.

How I feel researching this article...

Holmes, AKA Johnny Wadd, appeared in over 2,500 various porn scenes during the 1970s and 80s. Pardon the pun but Holmes was also kind of a dick. A big dick. In the early years of porn production, the legality of the industry was still debatable and Holmes was arrested for prostitution related charges. To avoid prison time, he became an LAPD informant. After years of drug addiction and decreasing notoriety, Holmes entered prostitution, taking both male and female clients. In 1986, Holmes was diagnosed with HIV and it was widely believed he contracted the virus as a result of his sexual lifestyle rather than casual drug use. Two years later, Holmes would die from AIDS related illness.

Holmes would not be the last porn actor to contract HIV or die from AIDS. Lax restrictions on condoms have lead to various outbreaks of HIV among porn actors over the years. Just between 2004 and 2010, a total of 9 porn actors have contracted HIV. In October of this year, positive HIV tests among performers lead two major studios to suspend production. One of the studios, Wicked Entertainment, is the only major producer of porn that requires performers to use condoms.


College Football Coach

College football is an institution in the United States. Some schools attract higher attendance numbers than professional teams. Colleges and universities with major athletics programs can earn millions from football teams. With so much money and pride at stake, there's a lot of pressure on college coaches to perform.

Considering that top college coaches receive annual salaries worth millions, many of you have to be wondering, "How stressful can their job really be?"

Yeah, that looks stressful...

Pretty damn stressful, it turns out. In the last year, two coaches from major football programs, Urban Meyer and Mark Dantonio, have taken leaves of absence to address health issues. What kind of health issues? Specifically, chest and heart problems which are often related to high amounts of stress. Meyer resigned following chest pains and Dantonio suffered a heart attack at the beginning of the 2010 season. Both men quickly returned to their duties, however.

These are not isolated instances either. When news of the Dantonio heart attack broke, Oklahoma State University football coach Mike Gundy (best known for this epic freak out at a press conference), stated, "Most coaches will tell you our health during the season is probably not great. I know it’s a concern for all of us. You’re seeing more (health issues) in the last few years than you ever have before."





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